Following last week’s emotionally difficult week, this week has been remarkably stable and even. Amazingly, I’ve had no pain at all for almost five days now, and relatively good energy levels. I’ve not even had to take any time off ‘sick’ from my work, which is the first time that’s happened for a long while. Usually, I have at least half a day or a day in bed due to fatigue or pain each week. My last flare up was at the weekend, and although it cut short an evening out, it wasn’t too debilitating for long.
It’s tempting, when things are going well, to look for reasons why. Just as it’s tempting, when things are going badly, to look for a reason. This week, I’ve planned and managed my time well. I’ve done lots of exercise – three zumba classes and I’ve cycled most days. I’ve also rested – though I’ve also done a lot of activity too. It could be down to all of those things, some of them or none of them! It could be something to do with what I’ve eaten this week. Or it might not. It could be that the antibiotics are working. But then again, it could just be a coincidence. The thing is, it’s always impossible to tell. So, instead of looking for reasons, I have to keep reminding myself just to be grateful and happy that I’ve had a ‘good’ week and not to worry too much about whether I’m going to ‘pay’ for it next week.
I haven’t felt much like writing since my last post and this will just be a short one. Last week, I made the very difficult decision to put my cat to sleep (I hate that euphemism, but it’s the best there is). I have had him for around thirteen years, longer than my relationship and it’s the longest I’ve ever had a companion animal. He’s been getting old for a while but over the past three months he’s got very frail and it’s been so hard to watch him getting thinner, weaker and more confused.
It’s amazing how much difference a little bit of energy can make
On Sunday, I was really low on spoons. I had a walk round the park with a mate, and then went to the local shop to do some food shopping. It didn’t take long, and I didn’t buy a lot, and it isn’t even that far from my house, but it totally and utterly finished me off for the day. It was so bad that I couldn’t even make it from the front door to the kitchen to empty my bags, I just sat on the stairs and sort of cried! By 2pm, I was back in bed, having spent all my spoons for that day. It was Sunday and I didn’t have much to do, so I resigned myself to being low on energy and just watched DVDs and chilled out.
Monday and Tuesday have been a totally different story. BOTH days, I have returned home from a full day at work (which for me, is around between 4 to 6 hours) and actually had enough energy to go into the kitchen and COOK! It really is incredible to me how different it can be. Sometimes the thought of cooking seems so overwhelming – even a simple dish like soup which requires very little effort. And yet today and yesterday, it was nothing at all to chop up some vegetables, add them to a pan and whip up an amazing dish – even if I say so myself! Yesterday’s was broccoli & cashew nut soup, today is a stew with mushrooms, spinach and butter beans. And yet other days, those five hours at work would have used up all my spoons. So that means today I have been to Zumba, cycled to the office, done nearly 5 hours of pretty intense research, cycled home AND cooked. No pain, and a level of tiredness that would be expected for a normal person. Amazing.
I can feel it in my fingers….
It’s been three weeks since I last posted, and at least two weeks since I started taking the doxycycline. As yet, there’s not been any discernable improvement, but I think it’s probably too soon to really tell. I was lucky enough to have a pain-free, good energy Christmas. However, 2012 started with a flare up in my left knee with the familiar wiped out feeling that I’d been spared for the previous week or so. Four days in and I’m still feeling as wiped out as if I’ve been up partying for the last three nights, even though I have not and I even got a great night’s sleep last night.
Thankfully, recent flare ups have not been too bad in terms of intensity of pain, although I have had some sort of pain about a third of the time. Last week I had a flare up in the little finger of my left hand. The next day it had migrated all the way to the little finger of the right hand. It was as if the arthritis thought that maybe the other little finger was jealous and needed to have some pain to even it out? Yesterday it was in my left knee and wrists, today it’s in all the TOES of my right foot. It’s really bizarre. It’s a pretty new one on me – I don’t remember having had toes flare up before. Perhaps I should start running a book on what joint will flare up next? Reckon I could make some money that way.